Barbs Fish n Dicks
by orcslayer95
Summary: Fun times at Barb's
1. Chapter 1

Barb's Fish and Dicks

Chapter 1

Josh walked through the door, breathing in the sickly sweet stench of freshly thawed fish. He climbed the ladder and slipped on a particularly greasy rung, falling over the railing and into the bleach sink, that Jazzy had filled solely with her own homemade bleach, which had a pH of 1. His skin burned and his clothes were immediately disintegrated by the acid.

Jazzy bathed her naked supervisor until the latter's skin was red and blistered and peeling off around his shriveled scrotum. She then lifted him onto the drying rack, one of the spikes slipping into his bleached white asshole, eliciting a startled yelp. She dried him off with a dirty rag, scraping the remainder of his burned skin off and dumping it into the gunk bucket.

Josh was now skinless and blind and didn't see Adrian come up behind him, wearing only boots and a skin-tight camouflage tank, wielding an ax. He chopped Josh up like he would chop wood in the backyard of his mountain cabin that no one knew the location of. He filled 12 cambros with chunks of Josh's flesh, forming the remainder into burger patties.

"10 Barb's burgers," he said and Brendan grilled the shit out of Josh's meat, slipping 4 patties into his pocket for the Shepherd's Pie he was planning on making later. He pulled a tub of nacho cheese out of his underwear and lathered himself in it. A naked Nath appeared out of nowhere and started licking the cheese off. When he was done, he squatted over the grease trap and pooped non-stop for 20 minutes.

"Can I get mayo to the line!" Yelled Adrian and 0.2 seconds later Dean appeared with the container.

"You know what to do," said Adrian. Dean nodded and immediately began applying the mayo to Adrian's arms, legs, and crotchal region with hot fish tongs as the lumbersexual growled in pleasure. Once full coverage had been achieved, Dean ran into the walk-in to cool down because he was overheating.

Rachel, who was currently eating pieces of raw fish and several oysters, stopped what she was doing, and started licking the warm runny mayo off Adrian's muscular birthday suit. She burped loudly and poured the rest of the cup of oysters down her throat, gurgling with a pitcher of ginger ale afterwards.

Adrian reached into the fryer, frying off his arm in the process, and pulled out his new fishing rod with the remaining bloody stump. He threw it at Rachel and the hook got lodged in her ass cheek. He reeled her in and made quick work of removing her clothes. and dusting her with flour. Nath, who had finally finished shitting, appeared and battered her up the way he would a fish. With Nigel and Jazzy's help, they hoisted Rachel headfirst into the fish fryer. She moaned in ecstasy as she was deep-fried alive. However, the fryer was too small to accommodate her whole body, so Jazzy used a plastic knife to slowly cut her in half. Unlike a piece of fish, it took 45 minutes to thoroughly fry her body.

Rachel and Josh's meat was separated onto staff plates and everyone went to the attic to eat. By this point everyone was naked. The attic was a 120 degree sauna and everyone's sweat created a giant sizzling puddle. Dean melted into the ground and was never seen again.

Nona pulled her vape out from her cleavage and started vaping, while Nigel lit a joint and Nath smoked a cigarette. Soon the entire boat was shrouded by smoke so thick, no one could see anyone else.

Patrick really had to pee but was too full of his coworkers' flesh to move, so he halfheartedly aimed at his empty tea cup and let go, a torrent of hot urine erupting from his trembling urethra. He was unaware that in all the chaos and thick fog he had confused the rim of his mug with the rim of Nona's gaping asshole, and was now peeing directly into it.

"I love you, Patrick," yelled Nona as she felt her friend's urine inside her.

Suddenly the small lake of sweat, piss and other bodily fluids soaked through the floorboards and the attic collapsed, causing everyone to plummet to the ground. Christina broke her arm in the fall and started sobbing hysterically. Nigel picked her up and placed her into the fry freezer.

Patrick fell through the grease trap (his body instantly coated in Nath's warm brown feces) and into the muddy wharf water, where he had sensual anal sex with a seal named Phred.

Chapter 2

During the fall several people had lost consciousness, including but not limited to Brendan. When he came to he realized he was sitting inside the chowder pot, his legs and crotch completely submerged in the freshly creamed goodness. He checked his pockets to make sure he still had some of Josh's meat safely stowed away and proceeded to ladling boiling chowder into his mouth with his hands. His esophagus was badly burned and he started coughing up blood.

Suddenly he heard someone screaming inside the fry freezer. It sounded like Christina so he made no attempts to help her and went back to pouring chowder down his bloody throat. When he reached the bottom of the pot he was shocked to find his legs were missing. They had been severed in the fall and sizzled down to stumps by the hot soup.

Brendan felt sad about his missing legs but was also very hot so he lifted himself out of the pot and dragged himself to the walk-in. He opened the door to find James mounting Sydney from behind. The grill daddy's 13-inch schlong was coated in chipotle mayo and Brendan was so turned on by this that he wasn't sad about his legs anymore.

Suddenly the door flew open. It was Adrian in full hunting apparel. He stalked his prey into the corner and pounced, ripping out their throats with his teeth. They bled out in under a minute. Adrian pulled out his hunting knife and gutted them like he would a deer, feasting on their warm juicy organs. When he had hollowed their bodies out, he curled up inside James and pulled Sydney and Brendan over him like a blanket. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Nona lit the fryer oil on fire. She dabbed while doing the splits as the whole boat was engulfed in flames. Everyone slowly burned to death.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can you make a steamed milk?" Tina squealed.

Patrick nodded and poured some milk into his mouth. He then squatted down in front of the machine and brought his face up so that the steam wand was inserted into his milky pie-hole.

He could feel his mouth starting to burn as the milk was heated. Some bubbling liquid escaped, running down his chin and onto his hairy chest, singeing several chest hairs. He fought the urge to swallow as the boiling milk was forced back into his throat. His tongue was so badly burned that he couldn't feel it anymore. He got a cup and spit the mixture of steamed milk, saliva, and blood into it, lidded it and handed it to the customer, steam still billowing from his bleeding mouth.

Barb's had recently changed their uniforms. Instead of black pants and a t-shirt, owner Ian had introduced something more appropriate, consisting of a sailor hat, a blue crop top, and matching skin-tight blue booty shorts with the Barb's logo on the ass. Needless to say, these new uniforms left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Such as Brendan's enormous moose knuckle as he walked up to Gini, who was changing in the pop room.

"Put on your rollerblades," he commanded in a low husky voice, taking off his hat and putting on his motorcycle helmet. Gini did as she was told. Brendan took her by the neck and slammed her against the lockers, pinning her arms above her head with one hand, the other pulling her leg up and over his shoulder. He stroked the wheels of the rollerblade and his member got so erect that it ripped through the thin material of the polyester shorts.

Gini growled and started giving him a rough foot job (blade job). Suddenly Brendan yanked the shoe off her foot, taking some of her toes with it, and started jacking himself off in it. His semen filled almost the entire skate. He was about to finger her when they called for someone on fish. "Gotta go," he said and ran out of the room.

"Can I get reg batter!" Yelled Brendan. However, Anna and Thomas didn't hear him because they were having vigorous sex in the bleach sink. Colleen did hear him but unfortunately she was stuck in the doorway of the walk-in, her trunk legs wedged firmly in the door frame.

10 minutes and 4 calls later, Brendan still didn't have reg batter. He ran to the back and ripped Thomas out of his sister by his hair and dragged him over to the flour containers, forcing the measuring cup into his hands.

"Fill it." He ordered and Thomas shakily obeyed, filling the pitcher with 1500ml of soda water. Brendan pulled a small pistol out of his ass crack and led Thomas to the dry batter bins at gunpoint.

"Mix. It."

"Okay," mumbled Thomas.

"What was that, boy?" Growled Brendan, digging the gun deeper into Thomas' back.

"Yes sir," Thomas said louder this time, his voice trembling.

"That's better."

Brendan watched Thomas mix the batter until it was thick and viscous, much like his own batter. Then he shoved Thomas' head into the bucket. Thomas made the mistake of breathing in and batter filled his lungs. He tried to cough but that just forced more batter down his trachea. He couldn't breathe anymore and his lungs were filled with fluid so he died a painful death.

The death of her brother was too much for Anna to bear and she drowned herself in the sink.  
Meanwhile Maddie was on grill even though no one had ever said she could and no one was on hand-out so people weren't getting their food.

"Get the fuck off line, you're not a fucking cook you dumb cunt," yelled Josh and threw a pickle at her face. It stuck to her glasses and slowly slid down her face, leaving a trail of pickle juice. Maddie ignored him so he made quick work of snapping her arms and legs like twigs and throwing them onto the grill, sprinkling some cali veg over them for flavor. He inserted his girthy member into her limbless torso. When he was done, he tossed the rest of her body into the fryer. Dean grilled her limbs until they were crispy as fuck and looked like Ghandi's flip flop.

Josh's enormous balls were hanging out on either side of his booty shorts. The shorts came in "one size fits all" so he had no choice but to let his hairless gonads bounce from thigh to thigh like a fleshy pendulum.

Meanwhile, Khaelys really had to pee. On a scale from 1 to 10 it was a solid 9.9 and he had to cross his legs tightly to keep it from spilling out. Luckily Nath had installed a special fryer which he could pee into. He pulled his pecker out and released a thick stream of hot piss into the fryer. Then he dropped two baskets of fries in it. This was the gluten free fryer.

"Can you make some batter?" Screamed Nona at the top of her lungs, bursting everyone's fucking eardrums.

Khaelys went to mix the batter. But before he could insert the bucket between his muscularly thick thighs, Dean put his head in there. Khaelys squeezed so tight that his head exploded like a watermelon and the bloody chunks got mixed into the batter.

Jeremy bumped his head on the ceiling for the 22nd time that day and fucking lost it. He threw the fish he was holding at Nona, burning her whole face with hot fish oil. He swung his arms around wildly, knocking out Kate and Sydney in the process. He then proceeded to have a fucking meltdown and ripped the fryers out of the ground, splashing sizzling oil everywhere. Everyone's feet got burned to stumps, except for Nigel who had jumped into the steamer and closed the door on himself and now couldn't get out. Cliff set the timer to 6 minutes and Nigel slowly got steamed to death.

"These aren't mussels and clams?" Cliff was confused, but plated Nigel in a five pound with cali veg, garlic bread and butter. "Order up!" he yelled obnoxiously loud and proceeded to eat some cheesecake.


End file.
